Hates Cats
by Feared-Director
Summary: a sort-of sequel to breakfast. slashy


a/n:I've never been particularly fond of sequels. No, I love sequels (except in Disney's case) I just hate when I write them. Why? Hell if I know. But, I feel the need to explain why Rimmer's still dead. (nods) Right so this takes place after the events of breakfast, but can be read alone if you want to.  
  
Rimmer doesn't like the Cat. He has nothing against him specifically, ignoring his rampant idiocy and general single mindedness. He doesn't have anything against the general species of cat either. Just one, specific cat that has lead to his continued and prolonged misery.  
  
Let us jump back three million years. Come on. Jump! Thank you.  
  
18 months from Earth a big, ugly red ship by the name of Red Dwarf slips serenely through space. In a room shared by the lowest ranking crew member and the second to lowest ranking crew member of the ship a black cat, a pregnant black cat, is curled in it's hiding place. It's owner (not master, cat's don't have master, they just have owners who take care of them and satisfy their every whim) is rummaging through his locker, searching for his milk ration and his camera. He finds them. David Lister's upper body emerges from the rank pit that is his storage locker with milk for Frankie and a camera. He pours the milk into a plastic bowl and opens the door to Frankie's cage.  
  
The cat rushes the milk and starts to lap quietly. Lister looks for something to use as a tripod. He stacks up Rimmer's astro-nav books and balances the cheap instant camera on them.  
  
"Perfect." He mutters, checking Frankie's milk progress. Still half a saucer. That's a couple minutes until... until he starts.  
  
"What are you doing Lister?" Rimmer asks from behind a magazine.  
  
"Family portraits, luv. You got your best suit on?" Lister says with a grin. Rimmer smiles, and starts to read again. The cat starts to lap noisily. The cat. Portraits.  
  
"What are you really doing, Lister?" Rimmer asks, looking at the cat who has started slurping quietly.  
  
"I told you, family portrait. You, me, Frankie." Lister grins  
  
"People will see the picture Lister. You'll get in trouble. I'll get in trouble. We'll go into stasis for-"  
  
"Eighteen months. Then we'll be at the Earth and we can go all AWOL and stuff." Lister grins some more.  
  
"Why would we want to go AWOL on the Earth?" Rimmer asks, closing his magazine and sitting up in his bunk. Lister looks at him, almost struck.  
  
"Well, that's why I joined the Space Corps anyway. I wanted a ride back to the Earth. That's why I got Frankie. I could go into stasis. I thought you wanted to come with me."  
  
"Why would I want to come with you? What has the Earth got for me?"  
  
"It's.. it's home." Lister reasons.  
  
"To you. The Earth is your home. I've visited it what, once? Twice maybe? Red Dwarf is my home. My future is here." Lister opens his mouth to argue. "Even if you aren't in it. I won't let this cat ruin my chances of promotion."  
  
"Fine." Lister says coldly. Frankie has finished her milk, he picks her up. "It's just you and me Frankie."  
  
He reaches towards the camera, but it's gone. He looks, Rimmer is holding it.  
  
"Give me back my camera Rimmer. I want to go home." He pauses, choking slightly. "Even if you aren't with me."  
  
He reaches towards the camera, Rimmer mutters "cheese" and the flash goes off. He sends the film to the lab.  
  
"I don't want to be traced back to this cat." He says, turning and walking out of the room. Lister hugs his cat, trying to calm himself.  
  
A couple of weeks later Lister was put into stasis for bringing aboard and unquarantined animal, but the animal was nowhere to be found.  
  
Rimmer paid several visited to the stasis-ed Lister, apologizing.  
  
"When you get out Listy," He said one night at 0200 hours ship time, "I swear I'll come with you to Earth."  
  
Rimmer spent the next week wandering around in a state of distraction. His mind was everywhere except where it was needed.  
  
So was it any wonder he didn't fix the drive plate properly and everyone got killed?  
  
So now, three million years later, Rimmer looks at the cat in distaste, and he looks at Lister with a mix of grief and longing. If they get to Earth this time, he will go AWOL if he can. 


End file.
